Running from my so-called future, is hard and leaves me ashamed of my “sinful” past.
Standing on the edge of the world, the word that brought me nothing but anger,hurt struggle, shame. That same one who is coming for me now, slowly creeping up behind me. Picking up speed as with its hateful words.
I turn to see dark gloomy clouds that look like a wave of knifes coming after me. I turn to see the edge and it was miles away from me. I run. I run as fast as my feet can carry me but not fast enough. the cloud of thoughts and pain get closer stabbing me with their judgments. The whispers cut me enough to bleed.
The clouds get a hold of my life gripping it with its shame.
I fall to the ground, struggling to breath, struggling to get up. I dig my nails into the ground resisting its pull. I slowly lose my breath. slowly giving in to the pain. sinking in to a numb state.
My sight getting darker and darker. Their thoughts convincing me that im everything they say I am… (as they echo around me) “your nothing” “your no one” “you’re a waste”. I sink into the dark clouds, becoming an empty and hollow person. “I’m lost”
“Ahh!” as soon as I said those last words somehow I found myself. A jolt of energy burned though me. it burned though my heart and my veins, seeping into my eyes. “i can see!” I could see all the monsters on me pulling me further in.
I push myself up. I fight them off, but more pill on me. The jolt of energy turns into light that beams though my whole body. Blinding the all.
I run faster than I ever could. Run from the demons who controlled my life. with every step I took made me faster. I stop and i see the edge once again and I see that safe hollow corner where I was in the dark lie but safe. “what do I do?”
I don’t know where i will land, but now I feel free and now I can Breathe.